It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
