So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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