at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
