you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
