idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
