it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
God, I missed his penis.
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