im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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