the condom got lost in my hair
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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