If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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