ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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