I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
