It's like God shit irony all over that family
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
