a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she looked like the before picture.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
