Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
