i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
