I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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