Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
