maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
