...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
