Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
