guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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