So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
