i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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