When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
