that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
