Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
