Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
