Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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