i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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