You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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