You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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