Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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