i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
