i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
