That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
