I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
