did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
