Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
