You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
