How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
