Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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