I wannas sexs uuuuu
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
