I think my fart just growled at me.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
do nipples grow back?
Randomize