dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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