I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
