no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
