You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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