I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
