Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
