Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
