where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
