So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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